MY CONFESSION

Have you ever caught yourself in a habit?  Good or bad...it can be eye-opening when you have the ability for even a moment to stand back and view yourself as someone else would see you in that moment.

I discovered a habit I have in communication.  This habit occurs especially when I am talking about myself.  Now that I have discovered it...I have had to use the delete button multiple times and each time I am now asking myself - why did you phrase it that way?

Wanna know what it is?

I often use the word "just" as a clarifier.  I mean OFTEN.  VERY OFTEN.

You might think...GASP...what in the world?  Oh no!  That is awful!  (In writing these past couple paragraphs, I have typed the word "just" at least three different times and had to erase it.)  Or you might be thinking...that Deb Anderson....she is NUTSO!  Why in the world does it make a difference what clarifier she uses or that she uses one at all?

I have realized something, though, in using the word "just".  I have chosen to use the word in the wrong way.  I use it in a way that minimizes my thought or feeling which translates to minimizing myself.  Looking at the definition...when used as adverb it means exact or precisely.  I find I use it incorrectly and exact or precise is not at all what it means.  Let me give you an example.

Think of questions and responses.

"Who is there?"  It's just me.
"Where are you going on vacation?"  It's not that far -- just to the beach.
"What are you reading these days?"  It's a just a book I had on my shelf.
"How are you feeling?"  I am just so tired these days.


See how it minimizes the answer?  Just me....JUST me. It makes me sound less important than if I were to say:  It's me.  ME.  "Just to the beach".  JUST?  Are you kidding me?  The beach is the most awesome place in the world for a vacation (my personal opinion).  JUST -- no way.  "Just" doesn't even belong in the same sentence with the word beach!  "I am just so tired these days."  Just tired...minimizes how I feel.  It makes my feelings seem less important than someone else's.

See what I mean?

So I am on a quest to stop using the word "just".  I am on a quest to not minimize my feelings or thoughts.  I am trying to break the habit...of minimizing me.